Twilight Talent Show!
by awesome author126
Summary: Forks is having a talent show and everyone is participating. There are singers, dancers, and much more! This is my first story, so please have mercy! Also, please review, I love comments.
1. Welcome to the show!

The lights start to dim, there's a murmur of impatience among the crowd, and its time for the show to start. Backstage, the performers are jittery, and so am I. This is what we've been waiting for, and now the time has finally come. The minds of my fellows are filled with thoughts like, "Am I ready?" and "Should I have rehearsed one more time?" but the only thing on my mind is being on that stage and having the lights all on _me_. Oh, embarrassment, do not visit me tonight. So, I take a deep breath, rise, say good-bye to my friends, and venture to the openness where the microphone stand is waiting.  
As soon as I step out, the clapping begins. Partially because they're happy the show is starting, I think. I grip the mike and say, "Hello, Forks, Washington." I pause, and let the applause thunder, which it does. "Welcome to the first annual Forks Talent show. I'm your host, Awesome Author 126, and to be honest, there is a lot of talent backstage. We've got singers, dancers, poets, and more! So, get ready to throw your roses and rotten tomatoes-that was a joke, Emmett-and let the fun begin!"


	2. Edward

The talking slowly comes to an end. I face the large crowd that is sitting with impatience in the Forks high school gymnasium. Such a small place for this many people. But, then again, we have people not just from Forks here. Anyway, now, it is time for me to introduce our first contestant. I can just imagine how loud the applause will be for him. So, I put in my earplugs, and announce , "Our first contestant tonight, is Edward Cullen. He will be-" But before I can continue, there is an eruption of cheering from various girls in the audience. About a hundred signs go up that say: I LOVE EDWARD and a bunch of girls with Edward's picture on their t-shirts stand. Suddenly, a pink object flies on to the stage. It was a bra! One side said Wear me and the other said Edward. Again, I take the mike and say, "Performing on the piano, here's Edward Cullen!"

As I leave the stage, Edward comes on. The piano is already set up, and a microphone is in front of it. He smiles crookedly-more screaming-and says, "Hello. Tonight, I am going to play one of my favorite songs. It's the lullaby that I wrote for my wife, Bella." All the screaming and cheering stop. Someone holds up a sign that says: Bella the hoe has to go. Backstage, I hear some snickering.

Then, Edward begins to play. His fingers move nimbly across the keys, making soft, beautiful music. The crowd has become silent, and all the girls are listening intently. I am entranced for a second, then, but suddenly, a tomato comes zooming on to the stage. It hits Edward square in the face. I march on to the stage.

"Emmett!" I cry. "What did I say?"

The person who is holding the Bella the hoe sign stands up. It's Emmett! "I couldn't help myself!" he says.

I roll my eyes. "Whatever just don't let it happen again." I turn to Edward. "Do you want to start again?"  
He shakes his head. "No, that's okay. I think they got the picture." And with that, he stands up from the piano, and leaves the stage, mumbling something about having one less brother.

"Well." I begin, "that was interesting- very nice playing, Edward -but now its time to continue the show. Up next, Alice Cullen!"


	3. Alice

The roar of the crowd is not as loud as it was for Edward, and definitely no girls are screaming-although, some boys might be cheering. While our next contestant is getting ready for her performance, I wait. Along with an impatient crowd. They glare at me and I die a little inside.

Then, to my relief, Alice calls to me from the wings, "Okay, I'm ready."

I turn, and smile to the audience. "Doing ballet to Swan Lake: Alice Cullen, everybody!"

I leave, and Alice gracefully steps out. She is wearing a pink tutu-of course-and white stockings. Her hair is tied in a bun by a pink, silky ribbon. The tutu is encrusted with diamonds, so it sparkles in the spotlight. Alice twinkles like a star while she waits for her music to begin.

She laughs lightly as the audience slowly stops applauding. "Gee, you guys aren't gonna throw a bra at me, are you?"

Then, as the audience chuckles at her humor, Swan Lake starts to play. Alice twirls around the stage, captivating the audience. She jumps, spins, and poses in various forms at different times. Then, she starts spinning on her tiptoes uncontrollably fast, almost resembling a tornado. But Alice doesn't fall-no, she keeps her cool, staying balanced during this hard, though impressive, move. The audience is in awe, as am I, so we don't notice a shadowy figure sneaking on to the sage. The person gives her a gentle push and the Alice tornado moves from its position in the middle of the stage. She starts to slide to the wings.

"Whoa-whoa-whoaaaaa!" cries Alice. Suddenly, there is a loud crash from the wings. "EMMETT! You got TOMATO on my new TUTU!"

The shadowy figure-AKA, Emmett-looks down at his hands, which are covered in red tomato juice. "Oops, sorry, Alice."

A flash of pink shoots across the stage-apparently, Alice. It takes down Emmett, pushing him to the side of the stage. Another crash is heard.

I shake my head, and mutter, "He's going to get us all killed."

Meanwhile, the audience is exchanging worried glances. There is a murmur of confusion, so I decide that it's time to wrap things up. I walk back to the microphone, and say, "Well, that was entertaining-nice job, Alice. But if you thought that was fun to watch, be prepared, because _Aro Volturi_ is up next!"


	4. Aro

Okay, I haven't done this yet, so I'm just gonna say that my name isn't Stephanie Meyer, so obviously I don't own Twilight. I own myself and this story.

Quick Authors note to all reviewers: Do you have a favorite contestant? If you do, VOTE for them. Review-you don't have to review the story, just put the name of the person you want to win!!! Your votes will decide who wins. Now, on with the show!

Aro is still getting ready, so I sit in an uncomfortable plastic chair on the side of the stage. Next to me is the manager of the talent show, Bella. She is tapping her foot impatiently, and muttering something about how Aro should be more prompt.

"Why aren't you performing?" I ask her.

She shrugs. "I don't have a talent-is that a problem?"

"Um, no," I answer. "I was just surprise no one convinced you."

"Why would someone convince me?" she asks, getting hysterical. "Do you think someone always has to convince me of doing something? I can think on my own!"

"Bella, is everything okay?"

"I'm not going crazy!" she suddenly cries. "Just because one of our contestants is FIVE minutes late, doesn't mean I should be going crazy! Which, I'm NOT! You know, Edward said this job would be too much pressure on me-but look at me. I'm fine. Right? Right?"

As she continues to ramble on, I look around, not listening, and see Aro. He's waiting on the other side of the stage.

"Uh," I begin to Bella, "Aro's here, now, so I guess it's time to start-" Before I finish the sentence, I am being pushed on to the stage by Bella. I stumble into the spotlight, and say to the crowd "Next up, doing his rendition of 'I Feel Pretty' is Aro Volturi!"

I run off stage, and notice how the crowd has become silent. Aro leaps out-with a pose, of course-in a pink tutu! In my head, I think, 'So that's why he took so long-he stole Alice's tutu!'

"I feel pretty," he sings. "Oh so pretty. I feel pretty, and witty, and bright. And I pity any girl who isn't pretty tonight!" There was a quick musical pause. "I feel charming. Oh so charming. It's alarming how charming I feel! And so pretty, I can hardly believe I'm real! See that pretty girl in the mirror there."

I covered my face with my hands, and thought, 'Oh, no. His voice is getting high! This is too funny."

Aro continued, "Who can that attractive girl be? Such a pretty face, such a pretty dress, such a pretty smile, such a pretty me!" Aro held out the last note, making it really high.

Suddenly, there was a loud scream from the other end of the stage. "ARO! You STOLE my TUTU!"

Of course, it was Alice. She jumped onto stage, wearing a blue robe, and ripped the tutu right off of Aro. Then, with her hands on her hips, she marched away. Everyone in the audience started to laugh, and Aro, who was blushing as red as a tomato, ran off the stage crying.

"You all hate me!" he wailed.

I ran after him, and called, "Oh, Aro, we don't hate you."

But someone in the audience, probably Emmett, yelled back, "Yes we do!"

I sighed. "Okay, whatever. Let's move on. Up next, Rosalie Hale!"


	5. Rosalie

Quick Authors note to all reviewers: Do you have a favorite contestant? If you do, VOTE for them. Review-you don't have to review the story, just put the name of the person you want to win!!! Your votes will decide who wins. Now, on with the show!

For Rosalie's performance, we need to change up the stage a little bit. First we have to add on an extension to the front, and then we have to add some extra lights. This all takes about five seconds with the help of the vampires. And now, Rosalie is ready to perform!

Still at the microphone, I say, "Rosalie will be doing some modeling with some of her favorite fashions."

All the new lights go out, and techno-dance music starts to play. Then, only a single spotlight is on, hitting the center of the stage, and Rosalie is in the center. She is wearing a long pink dress that comes out widely at the bottom.

As she walks down the new runway, I narrate the show. "Rosalie is wearing her favorite evening gown-it is a pink ball gown from the 1920's." The audience "oohs" and "ahhs" while I gag because I hate fashion.

Rosalie runs off the stage at lightning speed, and then, comes back on just as fast. She starts to walk, as I continue, "Rosalie is now wearing her favorite evening gown with sequins-it is a, navy blue, knee-length dress, with sequins sewed on the bottom. This dress was specially made for her by her mother, Esme." There is some cheering, and in the audience, Esme stands and bows.

Again, Rosalie leaves the stage as soon as she comes back from the catwalk. In less than three seconds, she is back out. And now, I can continue. "Now, Rosalie is wearing her favorite evening gown with no straps-a sea green, floor length dress. Doesn't she look stunning? This dress was just recently bought, and it costs-whoa."

Rosalie starts to walk down the runway, and then she stops to pose at the edge. At the end of her pose, she makes a sharp pivot. As her foot slides, it gets caught on the bottom of the dress. Suddenly, Rosalie falls and her face hits the floor with a loud smack. Worst of all, when her dress ripped, it went all up the front. Even worst of all, since it was a strapless, Rose chose not to wear a very important item of clothing on her chest….lets just say, she was letting it all hang out!

Some people laughed, and others (mostly the guys) just stared, knowing how lucky they were. There was a loud wolf-whistle from somewhere in the audience.

"Shut up, Emmett," Rosalie screeches.

He stands up. "No, really hon, you look great." He chuckles a little.

Then, Rosalie jumps from the stage and lands on top of him. They start fighting and all that is heard is the cries of pain from Emmett. Then, they stand up-Rosalie gripping Emmett by the ear-and she pulls him away, muttering how they would settle this at home.

I sigh and go back to my spot on stage. "Can't we go through this smoothly?" I muse into the mike. "Well, Rose better hurry up with Emmett, because he's up next!"


	6. Emmett

Quick Authors note to all reviewers: Do you have a favorite contestant? If you do, VOTE for them. Review-you don't have to review the story, just put the name of the person you want to win!!! Your votes will decide who wins. Now, on with the show!

It didn't take long for Rose to finish at all-actually, she let him do his performance first, and said she would handle him as soon as he was done, and not a second later. We all believed that. So, in a matter of no time, I was ready to continue the show.

"Okay, everyone, up next, doing his juggling act, is Emmett!" I announce to the roaring crowd.

After I walk off the stage, Emmett comes on. His clothes are a little torn from his fight with his wife, but other than that, he looks fine. He is holding two balls; one is red and the other is blue.

"Okay," Emmett begins, "For your entertainment tonight, I will be juggling these balls." He stops talking because he is laughing.

I roll my eyes, and call, "Emmett, be mature! We need to hurry up or not everyone will be able to perform."

"Sorry," he yells back. "Like I was saying, tonight, I am going to juggle. I know what you're thinking: what a boring talent. But do not worry, my trick will not be boring. Trust me."

Then, he starts juggling the balls (OH BE MATURE AND STOP LAUGHING). I have to admit, he's pretty good. He catches the OBJECTS skillfully, and doesn't miss a beat. Suddenly, he calls, "Next!"

From the back of the gym, Jasper throws a chair with his superhuman strength to Emmett, who expertly catches it and starts to juggle that as well. The crowd goes "Ooh," in unison.

For awhile, Emmett seems content with his load, but then he yells, "Next," and Jasper throws a kitchen table, fully set, into the mix of objects.

Esme stands up again; looking worried, and cries, "Not my good china!"

"Don't worry, Mom," assures Emmett, "I'll be careful. Next!"

To everyone's amazement, Jasper throws Emmett his jeep! But, of course, Emmett does not falter, not even for a second. The jeep smoothly joins the circle of different items, and Emmett continues.

"Next," he then tells Jasper. "_Next_. Jasper, come on!"

"Chill," retorts Jasper. "This one is heavy." Then, he throws an airplane! It sails over the crowd and to Emmett. He takes a step back as he takes it, to regain his balance, and laughs.

"I'm so awesome," he says, chuckling.

At that moment, Edward comes rushing up beside me. "Emmett has to stop," he says hurriedly. "If he doesn't, he'll expose us!"

"I think he's got it handled," I reply. "The audience probably thinks it's an illusion." But Edward doesn't listen. Instead, he marches on stage.

"Emmett! Stop! Or you'll-"

Before he can finish his sentence, Jasper runs up from behind him, picks him up, and throws him to Emmett.

"Good idea," calls Emmett, as Jasper walks away.

But something about how Jasper walked away scared me. He was wearing a devilish smirk, almost as if he is up to something. And you know what, I think he is. For some reason, I don't stop him.

Back on stage, Emmett is very happy with his accomplishments. Just a few more minutes, and his act will be over and he will be the first contestant to survive his performance. But, of course, in this whacked up show, nothing can ever go right.

In the back, Jasper is now wearing his Confederate uniform, and other Cullen's are around him. "Cullen's, attack!"

Everyone takes out a tomato, and launches it at the stage.

"That's for ruining my tutu with a tomato," cries Alice.

"That's for ruining my good china," yells Esme.

"I love this," mutters Jasper.

Emmett is overcome by tomatoes. He can't take the all the hits, and then, he falls. All the items he was juggling fall: the airplane, the jeep, Edward, the table with Esme's good china, the chair, and, yes, the balls. Soon, Emmett is no more; there is only a large pile of things on the stage.

"EMMETT!" screams the evil voice of Rosalie. "You know what time it is."

Emmett's head pokes out from the pile. "Uh, oh." He jumps out, and bolts out the stage. His wife is not far behind.

As the stage crew cleans up the stage, I walk to the microphone, and say, "That was pretty cool, Emmett. Too bad you didn't finish. Oh, well, what are ya gonna do? Anyway, be prepared, because up next is……Jane!"


	7. Jane

There is no cheering. Actually, everything is silent. Some people are even leaving the gymnasium, and others are cowering in their seat. I know the reason for this: Jane is coming! No, now, Jane is here!

Something inside of me assures me that Jane won't hurt anyone who doesn't bother her. So, I guess I should start to calm down.

Backstage, I hear someone say, "Excuse me, Jane, would you like a glass of water before you-"

"I DON'T EAT OR DRINK, YOU IDIOT!" Jane's screech interrupts. "GET THAT AWAY FROM ME!" Then, there is a cry of pain. I shudder, and think, _maybe not._

I walk to the microphone, almost deathly afraid, and say, "Ok, next up, doing, something she didn't tell me, Jane!

A black hooded figure slowly walked onto the stage. Of course, it was Jane. The stage was set in a weird way. There was a blue mat on the ground, and two cinderblocks standing upwards with a wooden board resting on it. There are several of these formations. At first, I think that Jane is going to beat people with the blocks and boards, but then, something surprising happens.

Jane rips off her hood, and unveils a white karate uniform with a black belt. Jane is doing karate! She walks up the microphone and says, "Hello. I am now going to cause pain." The whole audience gasps. Through clenched teeth, Jane responds, "_Without_ using my powers."

She then walks up to one of the boards. You don't see her arm come down, only a flash of white, but the board is now broken. Jane walks to the second board. Again, all she does is lift up her leg, a flash, and then a broken board. As Jane walks up to the third and final board, I wonder what she'll do.

This time, Jane doesn't lift a limb. Instead, she slowly leans her head back, and BAM she breaks the board with it. Impressive.

"Now," Jane begins, breaking the silence, "I will need a volunteer."

"I'll do it!" cries unseen voice. We look up and see Emmett sitting on top of the curtain. "I'll do anything to keep away from my crazy, yet hot, wife."

Jane rolls her eyes. "Whatever. Just get down here. NOW!"

Emmett jumps from the curtain, causing almost an earthquake. With a stupid grin on his face, he says, "Ready?"

Jane smirks. "That's what I should be asking you."

Emmett laughs. "You're very cocky. But I was _born_ ready. Now, do your worst."

With an evil smile, Jane throws a punch forward and it zooms past Emmett's ear. He begins to laugh. "That's your idea of kara-"

He is cut of when Jane says, "_That_ was a distraction." Suddenly, with her other hand, she grabs his stomach, and throws him into the air. She jumps up and kicks him in the face. When Emmett lands with a thud, she runs to him and karate chops him in the neck. Then, she picks him up with both hands, and flips him to the ground. She punches forward and cries, "Hiya!" After, she faces the crowd and bows.

The audience automatically starts to cheer. In satisfaction, Jane leaves the stage, kicking Emmett in the stomach on the way out.

I rush to the microphone. "Well, alright. Very nice karate, Jane, and congrats on being the first contestant to actually finish their performance. Wow. Up next, Jasper Hale doing deep poetry." I pause and listen to Emmett groan. "Oh, and somebody get this man some help."

"I will!" screeches Rosalie from the audience.

Emmett jumps up. "Time to go." And he zooms off the stage.


	8. Jasper

_Just two more performances_, I think to myself, _and then intermission._

Tiredness has come over me, now. We've been in this hot, smelly, overcrowded gym for an hour, watching performance after performance go wrong. Thankfully, we will be having a fifteen minute intermission soon, and everyone will get refreshments, making the rest of the night somewhat bearable. But presently, we are waiting for Jasper to finish practicing so that he can amaze us with his deep soul. I get the signal that he's ready.

So now, I take the stage and the microphone.

"Up next, Jasper Hale will be reciting some poems for us."

As Jasper enters, I give him a thumbs-up for encouragement. He just stares back. As always, Jasper is looking, well, constipated. I guess being in a room with such a large amount of people is overwhelming for him. But, he begins anyway.

"Hello," he says, quietly. "First, I will recite one of my favorite poems." He clears his throat.

"'Alone', by Edgar Allen Poe:

'From childhood's hour I have not been

As others were; I have not seen

As others saw; I could not bring

My passions from a common spring.

From the same source I have not taken

My sorrow; I could not awaken

My heart to joy at the same tone;

And all I loved, I loved alone.

Then- in my childhood, in the dawn

Of a most stormy life- was drawn

From every depth of good and ill

The mystery which binds me still:

From the torrent, or the fountain,

From the red cliff of the mountain,

From the sun that round me rolled

In it's autumn tint of gold

From the lightning in the sky

As it passed me flying by,

From the thunder and the storm,

And the cloud that took the form

(When the rest of Heaven was blue)

Of a demon in my view.'"

The audience claps and Jasper waits, timidly.

Then he says, "Now, I will recite another poem.

"'Nothing Gold Can Stay' by Robert Frost:

'Nature's first green is gold,

Her hardest hue to hold

Her early leaf's a flower;

But only so an hour.

Then leaf subsides to leaf.

So Eden sank to grief,

So dawn goes down to day

Nothing gold can stay.'"

There is a little more clapping, but this time, Jasper stops it with a raise of his hand. "I will do one last poem."

_What will he do?_ I think. _Up until now he's done stuff I'd want to slit my wrists to. I hope it's nothing too depressing._

Jasper clears his throat. "I will now recite 'Father William' by Lewis Carroll:

"' You are old, Father William," the young man said,

"And your hair has become very white;

And yet you incessantly stand on your head--

Do you think, at your age, it is right?"

"In my youth," Father William replied to his son,

"I feared it might injure the brain;

But, now that I'm perfectly sure I have none,

Why, I do it again and again."

"You are old," said the youth, "as I mentioned before,

And have grown most uncommonly fat;

Yet you turned a back-somersault in at the door--

Pray, what is the reason of that?"

"In my youth," said the sage, as he shook his gray locks,

"I kept all my limbs very supple

By the use of this ointment -- one shilling the box --

Allow me to sell you a couple?"

"You are old," said the youth, "and your jaws are too weak

For anything tougher than suet;

Yet you finished the goose, with the bones and the beak--

Pray, how did you manage to do it?"

"In my youth," said his father, "I took to the law,

And argued each case with my wife;

And the muscular strength which it gave to my jaw

Has lasted the rest of my life."

"You are old," said the youth, "one would hardly suppose

That your eye was as steady as ever;

Yet you balanced an eel on the end of your nose--

What made you so awfully clever?"

"I have answered three questions, and that is enough,"

Said his father; "don't give yourself airs!

Do you think I can listen all day to such stuff?

Be off, or I'll kick you down-stairs!"

_No,_ I think, _that was not depressing._

Actually, the audience is laughing. Even Emmett has taken a break from hiding

from Rosalie to laugh and clap for his brother. Unfortunately, Jasper doesn't take the laughing as a positive thing.

"Stop it," he says. "Stop laughing at me!" But no one can hear him over the laughter and clapping. "Stop it! STOP IT! Ahh!" And with that, Jasper runs off the stage.

The room gets quiet and the crowd is confused.

I step awkwardly on stage. "Aw, poor Jasper. I guess he didn't realize we were laughing with him and not at him. Oh well. Next up, Carlisle and Esme doing a duet! And then intermission!" The crowd begins to cheer. "Thank God," I add under my breath.


End file.
